IDIOT PATROL

• Question: do you know, i am proud of you, admire you, and love you? do you really know it? - elenamary
• Answer:

  i know it and i love you too darling.  for real.

i finally put a couple of thoughts together:

• growing up we spent a lot of time in the woods playing with my grandpa’s WWII machetes.  we’d chop down saplings and build things with them
• the machetes are still up at the cabin
• this is the same place where i was assaulted this summer
• i’ve been taking a filipino martial arts class lately, and doing it very intensively, and one weapon we use a lot is the machete

I’M GOING TO KILL THIS MOTHERFUCKER WITH A MACHETE, FILIPINO STYLE, IF HE EVER TRIES TO TOUCH ME AGAIN.  I NOW FEEL MUCH MORE CAPABLE OF PROTECTING MYSELF.

i consciously started to take classes to protect myself, but i think ii subconsciously chose the one with machetes because i associate them with the place i was assaulted.  

• Question: what gets you out of those warm covers in the morning? - optimisticpragmat
• Answer:

  lately it’s been original world war II footage.  i’m writing a book about the european theater of operations and it’s been going really well.

• Question: i miss miss miss miss miss miss miss you. <3 - mutedheartbeats
• Answer:

  we’ll hang out sooon!!!

at any branch that will keep me from falling off this cliff onto the sharp rocks.  really, ANY

comfortable in my own skin, my own bed, alone and with my music

a happier bex!

i had my partner take some sexy photos of me - it’s this exercise in learning to be comfortable again, learning to feel safe and sexy again.  i think we’ll submit one to fuck yeah dykes if they’ll have it.  i feel pretty good today, no clawing thoughts creeping into my brain and running around in circles in there.

buddha described a way to find release from suffering: by following the eightfold path of moderation.  this means:

1. right view
2. right intention
3. right speech
4. right action
5. right livelihood
6. right effort
7. right mindfulness
8. right concentration

think for awhile about what this means.  it isn’t perfection.  it’s a practical guide to ethical development.  by practicing these things (start with the lower numbers and work your way up) you will find that you suffer less.

1. life means suffering.

2. the origin of suffering is attachment.

3. the cessation of suffering is attainable.

4. there is a path to the cessation of suffering.

• Question: why is it that i love you so much, yet never get to fall asleep in your arms? - elenamary
• Answer:

  life is funny sometimes

• Question: hi <3 - mutedheartbeats
• Answer:

  <3